The Closet: A Match Makers Best Friend
by Rosekeet
Summary: Ron's nieces and Dracos daughter try to set up him and Hermione. Harry is falling for the new charms professor who is anything but charming. Will Beau ever ask Angel out? Do closets really have mysterious effects on people like Angel says?
1. Virtual Weasle Would be a Cool Name for ...

_The Closet: A Match Maker's Best Friend_   
Chapter 1: Virtual Weasel Would be a Cool Name for a Band   
By, Rosekeet   
A/N: Ok, I'm just toying with a new idea here. Tell me what you think and if you have any idea's I'd love to hear them. This probably won't get finished as fast as _10 Reason's Love Potions are Illegal_ (my most famous fic) because I'm starting High School in a week and I have really long days. (Up at 6 get home at 6) So, please bear with me. The chapter title has nothing to do with the actual chapter. Just thought you'd like to know.   
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to JK Rowling. Don't sue me.   
  
  
Professor Granger glared down at Angel and Dovey Weasly. She was a normally a nice looking witch: long, silky brown hair, chocolate colored eyes, a nice smile, pretty figure. But at the moment she was looking anything but nice. Her skin was a nasty shade of purple and her hair an ugly green. Angel and Dovey tried hard to keep straight faces. Normally they would be wilting under her famous glare but with purple skin and green hair it just wasn't as effective. You could practically see the steam coming from her ears. Angel and Dovey looked at each other and started giggling. They were identical from the tips of their toes to the roots of their flaming red hair.   
"Explain." Professor Granger said, sounding dangerously like the old transfiguration teacher they had had before their Uncle Ron had come to teach.  
"Um... "Angel said.   
"Well...." Dovey said biting her lip.   
"You see..."   
"Just a bit of fun..." Professor Granger continued to glare. The twins gulped. "You two are just like your father." She said dangerously. "Set me right in about 5 seconds and I'll only give you 5 detentions instead of the 10 I was planning." They immediately did what they were told.   
  
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!   
  
Angel and Dovey ran out of the class room as fast as their legs could carry them.   
"Phew." Angel said.   
"We sure lucked out that time!" Dovey said grinning.   
"We'd better wait to try it on Harry for a week or so." Angel said. Harry Potter was their god-father as well as their Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.  
"Yes. We aren't going to have much free time..."   
"It was odd though... I thought it was supposed to turn her all green."   
"It was. But the purple and the green together were much better."   
"Defiantly."   
~*~   
Professor Harry Potter watched as his god-daughters came into the class room with their best friend Honey Malfoy. It had always shocked him the two Weasly's and a Malfoy had become best friends. Honey looked every inch a Malfoy: pale skin and hair, gray eyes, thin and scrawny. But she was a Gryffindor in spirit, to her father's eternal shame. The three girls were deep in discussion. With names like Angel, Dovey and Honey you would have thought they'd have been nice, sweet, obedient kids. But not so. Angel and Dovey were perfect female replicas of thier father George, and Uncle, Fred. And Honey was like their triplet. He could tell they were plotting something. He, personally, found their pranks and jokes funny, unlike the other Professors. Hermione had come into the teachers' lounge that morning looking like one of her own students and broken her record for most OWL's. They must have had a good day.   
~*~   
"What did Dovey and Angel do to you to day?" Ron asked with a grin as Hermione came into the teachers lounge. Hermione shot him a dirty look as she flopped into a chair.   
"Those two are going to be the death of me yet!"   
"They didn't bewitch your chalk so it wrote obscenities on the black board again?" Ron had heard the story and personally found it very funny. He didn't tell Hermione that though. He didn't like getting her angry.   
"No. I got the old color change trick instead."   
"Ah. Didn't they and Honey Malfoy do that to Snape last month?"   
"Yes. I felt a bit bad giving them detentions, since they just finished up Snape's." She shuddered. Having been in Snape's dungeons for detentions more than once, she had a good amount of empathy for the students he punished.   
"I don't think he'll be at peace until he's tormented every last student one last time." Ron said shaking his head. Professor Snape had died the year Hermione, Harry and Ron and come to teach at Hogwarts. Unfortunately for the students (and Harry, Ron and Hermione as well. Though he couldn't punish them they were still very wary of him) his ghost had come back insisting that he continue his job just like before he died. And his being a ghost managed to make him even scarier. "I bet he only came back to spite us."   
"Oh, Ron. Don't be silly. Maybe he just likes teaching."   
"Or tormenting."   
"Don't be silly!"   
"I've seen him smiling giving out detentions!"   
"No you haven't."   
"Have so."   
"Have not."   
"Have so." Harry walked in followed by Trewlany who was waving her cane vigorously at him.   
"At the next full moon..." She was saying. Things hadn't changed quite as much as you'd have expected.   



	2. I Got Bit in the Butt

_The Closet: A Match-Makers Best Friend_  
Chapter 2: I Got Bit in the Butt  
A/N: Once again the chapter title has nothing too do with the actual chapter. I got some nice reviews and to answer the questions: No, Angel and Dovey are NOT born out of wedlock. Fred and Angelina are married. Ron and Hermione aren't together. That's the point of the story. It isn't really important who Malfoy married he's just married. Thanks.   
Discalimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and titles belong to J.K. Rowling.  
Dedicated To: My BETA readers Frini and Curry Spice. Luv ya!  
  
It was midnight and Angel and Dovey Weasley and Honey Malfoy were returning from another detention in Snape's dungeon for smiling during class. They were used to Snape and his dungeon by now. They spent so much time there that they new it better than Snape himself. And they could read Snape like a book so it was easy to push his buttons. They walked into their dormatory talking and laughing, wondering what to do with the banshee hair and oger eyes they had stolen.  
"I think we should make floating potion. You know, when they drink it they'll slowly start floating away." Angel said.  
"Too boring. We need flamboyance!" Honey said.  
"You said a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig word Honey!" Dovey said looking amazed.   
"I know!" She said happily and they all started giggling.  
"Do you _mind_?" said Evangeline Wealsey- Angel and Dovey's cousin- crossly.  
"Oh, pipe down EVA." Angel said as she pulled off her sneakers.  
"It's Evangeline!" She said crossly. "Why do people butcher my name?!"  
"Because Evangeline sounds stupid and anybody in their right mind would WANT a nick-name." Dovey said pulling her robe off and pulling pajama's on.  
"Not that Eva's in her right mind." Angel said.   
"You are SO immature!" Evangeline said exhasparatedly and she pulled back the curtains, muttering. Evangeline was George's and his wife Monica's eldest daughter. She was a female version of their uncle Percy, the Minister of Magic. Evangeline loved her father and mother (who were both prank loving) dearly, but she just didn't hold with such foolishness. There was just too much she had too do. She wanted to take her Uncle's place as minister. She idolized her Uncle Percy. Angel, Dovey, and Honey rolled their eyes and climbed into bed. To say they disliked Evangeline was the understatement of the century.  
~*~  
Beauregard Andreas was repoting teampting tulips and staring at Angel Weasley. Beau thoght Angel was the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. His best friend Franklin Hearst thought thought he was crazy. Sure he thought Angel was pretty but not beautiful. She had long straight red hair, quick blue eyes, a round face and a well developed figure. And besides, she looked just like her sister. But Beau was convinced that Angel was better looking.   
"Careful Beau, your repoting lightning leaves with your teampting tulips." Frank said.   
"What?" Beau said looking back at Frank. Angel looked even more beautiful covered up to her arms in dirt. Frank rolled his eyes.  
"You're pathetic, man." He said shaking his head. Beau scowled. "Just ask her out all ready!"  
"Why would she want to go out with ME?" Beau said gloomily.  
"Well, half the girls in the school are in love with you, your captin of the Ravenclaw quidditch team, and you respect girls- god knows why- and you're a prefect."  
"Oh that's a total turn on for Angel." Beau said sarcastically watching her put dirt in Carly Lovits hair. But what Frank had said was true. He was the most highly saught after boy at Hogwarts. He had thick curly dark hair, classically handsome features, beautiful grey-violet eyes and a smile that was slightly crocked that made a dimple appear in his left cheeck. He wasn't only captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, he was the best player. He had the perfect amount of muscle and he wasn't just handsome. He was smart, kind, thoughtful, sensitive and egger to lend anybody who need help a hand. He drove the girls wild. Beau got asked out an average of three times a week. Of course, he turned them all down. He had eyes only for Angel. In mot girls opinion it was his only fault. Frank sighed exhaspartedly. He was popular with the girls himself though not on Beau's scale. He had longish blonde hair that often got in his eyes. When it did he would blow it of the way in a manner that some girls found adorable. Unfortunantly for Frank, most girls didn't see him as the type who'd want a long term relationship, which he did. He was seen as the one-night-stand, lets-just-be-friends, playboy type who was funny and egger to have a good time.   
"It's easy, watch!" He said turning to Bethany Smith a dark haird girl with a dark complexion  
"Hey, Beth, wanna go out."  
"Sure, whatever." She said grabbing dirt from the bag.  
"See, no prob!" Frank said. "Wanna break up?"  
"Ok."   
"Cool."   
~*~ _ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!_ Hermione thought pulling a lock of abourn hair behind her ear angrily. Ron was immpossible!! Cheese is a perfectly acceptable food! What the crap was he thinking? Why did he like to irritate her so? She HATED Ron Weasly!!! Then, why did she suspect she was in love with him?  
~*~  
Ron threw his grading book against the wall. Hermione was so stupid!!! She bugged the crap out of him! Cheese was gross! What the heck was she thinking! Why the heck did she get under his skin like that? He HATED Hermione Granger! But, if he hated her, why did he have the funny feeling that he was in love with her?  
~*~  
"You two are impossible!" Harry said to Ron and Hermione as they threaded their way through the students to get to their retrospective class rooms.   
"HE'S more impossible than I am!" Hermione said.  
"Am not!"  
"Are too!!!!!!!!!"  
"Am not!" Harry rolled his eyes. Ron and Hermione were so stupid. It was painfully obvious they liked each other but they both had too much pride.   
"You are... are..." Hermione raged as she stood in front of her class room door, trying to find strong enough words.  
"Same to you!" Ron yelled, face red as his hair and stormed away. Angel, Dovey and Honey exchanged looks as they backed away from McGonagall. Beau crained his neck to try to see Angel. Hermione fumed. Ron fumed. Harry sighed. _ They haven't changed a bit._  



	3. Je detest le mardis

_The Closet: A Matchmakers Best Friend_   
Chapter 3: Je deteste le mardi   
By, Rosekeet  
Rated: PG for sensuality and the like  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and titles belong to J.K. Rowling. I do assume ownership of Angle, Dovey, Honey, Beau, Frank etc.  
A/N: I WILL FINISH THIS FIC. Unfortunantly it was a fic started before my "no posting until it's totally finished" policy. So, who knows how long it'll take. But by, golly, I'll do it!!!  
  
"MISS WEASLEY!" Snape yelled as loud as he could so he could be heard over the commotion. As he was a ghost he couldn't yell loud, but it was loud enough to be heard.   
"Yes?" Angle and Dovey said in unison looking up, their faces the picture of innocence. "Don't think you can play innocent with me!" He missed, floating ominously in front of them. Any other students would have been shaking but Angel and Dovey we're used to it. Snape's dungeon felt more like home to them than the Gryffindor common room.   
"What did we do this time Professor?" Dovey asked sweetly with a small sigh.  
"And don't forget we've all ready served our time for the frog sperm incident." Angel piped up.   
"And the dungbombs in the Armor."  
"And the-"  
"SILENCE!" Snape yelled. If he had been alive his face would have been red and steam coming from his ears. He looked around at the cheerful faces of his students who were standing about ankle deep in a cleaning potion. "You two are the most insufferable student I have ever had the misfortune of teaching! And I taught your uncle and father! 15 points from Gryffindor!"   
"Why?" Dovey asked incredulously.   
"For- smiling." He hissed dangerously. They starred at him trying not to laugh. Angel couldn't help it. A snort escaped and they both started cracking up.   
"Detention! And about this mess-" But Angel and Dovey were too busy counting on their fingers.   
"Say, Dove, I think I just broke Dad's record for most detentions!" Angel said.   
"You're right!"   
"WICKED!" They chorused in unison as they high-five.  
"Too bad we got held up by Granger during the breakfast job," Honey said to Dovey. "Or we'd be tied." Dovey nodded in agreement.   
"EXCUSE ME!" Snape yelled.  
"Oh, do you want something Professor Snape?" Honey asked smiling. Snape's ghostly features contorted in anger and he opened his mouth to speak. But the bell rang, covering up his words. The students rushed out, but none more quickly than Dovey, Angel and Honey. They were proud of their detentions but they certainty didn't want to clean up the mess they had just made.  
"Professor Snape, sir," Harry Potter said nervously poking his head into the dungeon.  
"Potter! Detention! Tonight in here! _You_ will be cleaning up this mess!" Snape yelled pointing violently at him.  
"Yes sir!" Harry said nodding as he hurried away. Damn it! How did he do that?   
"Hullo there good old god-daddy." Angle said good naturedly as she sidled up to Harry.  
"Thanks to the mess you three just made, Snape gave me detention." Harry said peering down suspiciously at her. "Whatever it is you want, the answer is no."   
"Want? I'm hurt! We just came to say howdy to our _favorite_ god father." Dovey said sweetly.   
"And my favorite Professor." Honey added smiling in a rather un-Malfoyish manner.   
"I'm not stupid you know."   
"Of course not!" Angel said.   
"We just wanted to say hi..." Dovey said.  
"And about that exam we have today-" Honey said. Harry shook his head and laughed.   
"You three get going!" He said pointing up the stairs.   
"Fine, fine," Sighed Angel as the three hurried up the stairs and out the big doors and towards the Greenhouses. Harry shook his head and chuckled as he walked into the teachers lounge. Ron and Hermione were sitting there and, as usual, fighting.   
"Hello." He said plopping down into an armchair next to Ron.  
"Hi Harry." Ron said pleasantly before turning back to Hermione and saying, "I did not!"   
"Hello." Hermione said, "Having a good day?" She turned back to Ron, "You did too!"  
"Not bad." Harry said. "But Snape gave me detention again." Hermione and Ron stopped fighting and started laughing.   
"Oh, Harry." Hermione said shaking her head. "What did you do?"  
"Nothing! Honestly! I just stepped inside to ask him for some Swamp Grass for today's lesson and he pinned a mess made by Dovey, Angel and Honey on me."  
"You have to stand up to him!" Hermione said over Ron's laughter.  
"I dunno... it's just... He's even scarier as a ghost!" He felt his face turn red. "And it's not like I'm going to go..."  
"Don't forget your detention tonight, Potter." Snape said with a nasty sneer as he drifted through the closed door. Ron and Hermione stopped laughing.  
"Yes sir!" Harry said nodding vigorously. Snape scowled and drifted through the opposite wall. Ron and Hermione started cracking up again. Harry glowered and after a few minutes they stopped.  
"Did you hear?" Hermione said, changing the subject, "The new charms teacher's coming tomorrow."  
"Really?" Ron asked. "Who is it?"  
"Veronique something or other. I can't remember."   
"It's a woman then." Harry said.  
"Yup. Guess so."  
"I hope she's cute." Ron said. Hermione rolled her eyes.  
"It was a shame about Flitwick." She lamented.  
"Yeah, it was also a shame about Snape until he came back as a ghost." Ron said.   
"Ron! That's a horrible thing to say!"  
"Oh, lighten up."  
"You should take things more seriously!"   
"Well-"  
"Bye." Harry said getting up. They didn't see him go.  
  
~*~  
  
Angle, Dovey and Honey were in the library, much to the dismay of Monsieur Deppois, the librarian.   
"I still think it's unfair that they keep the books with invisibility charms in the restricted section." Dovey scowled.  
"C'est la vies..." Honey shrugged. "Maybe we can get the new charms teacher to teach us one."   
"Shame Flitwick died." Dovey sighed.   
"Face it, Dove," Angel said, "You were the only one that liked him. Maybe well get someone decent this time."  
"Or at least someone who stays awake." Dovey scowled.   
"Well, maybe we should just get an invisibility cloak."  
"Yeah, but after Mum hears about our latest detention we aren't going to have pocket money for years." Angel said sadly.   
"It was worth it though." Dovey pointed out.  
"Definantly." Angel paused. "What about you, Honey? Your family's loaded."  
"Yeah, but I'm in Gryffindor remember? Dad and Mum don't exactly jump for joy when they send me my allowance. Plus, they're really rare. We'd be lucky to find one for sale, let alone buy one."   
"Shame..." Angel lamented.   
  
Beau sighed as he watched Angel through the books. She and her sister and their friend Honey Malfoy were busy plotting something. A funny prank, no doubt. Everybody loved the three of them. They didn't know it, but there were a lot of boys at Hogwarts egger to date them. There was a boy in his dorm named, Gregory Smeltings who was contemplating asking Angel out this very weekend. This had Beau very worried until Frank had pointed out that Angel and Gregory didn't have any classes together and Angel had no clue he existed. It still made Beau uneasy.  
"Mate, this isn't healthy." Frank said shaking his head. "Just ask her out already."   
"She'd never say yes..." Beau replied mournfully.   
"Well if you don't do something Deppois is going to get peeved because you're drooling all over the books."   
"Hi, Beau." Angel said as she walked down the row looking at a slip of paper in her hand. "What's up?"  
"Nothing- hi- erm, yeah, hi." He stuttered turning a rather unattractive shade of pink. Angel stood on tiptoe and pulled a book off the highest shelf.   
"See you latter in Divination." She said going back to her table with a wave.  
"Hi-um, yeah, latter, uh," Lamely feeling very stupid. He should have offered to get the book, or asked her how she was or- or something.  
"Pathetic." Frank said shaking his head.   
  
"He is _so_ fine." Honey said as Angel sat down and began flipping through the pages of the book she'd gotten.  
"Who?"  
"Duh! Beau!"  
"Oh, yeah, he's ok."  
"Nice too." Dovey said.  
"What? Yeah, I suppose so."  
"Terrific Quidditch player..." Honey continued.   
"Um hm."  
"He likes you." Dovey said.   
"What?!" Angels head shot up. Dovey and Honey started smirking. "He does not!" For only about the second time in her life Angel Weasley was feeling flustered.   
"He so does. He was drooling all over the books." Honey said, continuing to smirk in a genuine Malfoy fashion.   
"You're nutters." Angel said, ears as read as her hair.   
  
~*~  
  
"I'd like to introduce your new Charms professor, Veronique Hie." Professor Dumbledore said early the next morning. The entire hall started clapping as she walked in. She was short and had her velvet black cloak pulled around her, with the hood positioned to hide her face. Students and teachers alike craned their necks to try and see her face. She moved to the empty chair between Harry and Dumbledore and lowered her hood to glare around the room.  
She had a pale oval shaped face, framed by long, very straight black hair. Her eyes were dark and almond shape, her lips, thin. She gave off an aura similar to that of Snape: obey or suffer. The Great Hall silenced instantly.   
"Would you care to tell us anything about yourself?" Dumbledore said pleasantly to her.  
"No." She said flatly still staring around the room. To each student it seemed as if she was glaring at them in particular. It made them nervous.   
"All right then," Dumbledore said looking unphased. "You can introduce yourself in class. I bet your students are looking forward to it." Then with a big smile he sat down and breakfast began.  
"Who the hell does he think he's kidding?" Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione. "They look terrified."  
"I was a bit surprised at her, um, 'speech'." Hermione said, trying very hard to remain impartial.   
"What do you think Harry?" Ron asked quietly. "Harry?" Ron glanced over at his friend. Harry was staring with his mouth slightly open at Veronique Hie. "Um, are you ok?" He said prodding Harry in the back.  
"Do you know who that is?" He hissed turning to Ron.  
"Who?" Harry gestured over his shoulder at Veronique who was eating an omelet and continuing to glare at the students.   
"The uncharming charms professor?"  
"Yes! That's Veronique Hie!"   
"Um, yeah."   
"_The_ Veronique Hie!"   
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Ron asked looking confused.   
"She was an Auror! Graduated three yeas ahead of me. Do you know how many dark wizards she's captured?"  
"No, including or excluding herself?" Harry ignored this comment and continued  
. "Hundreds! Some of the biggies too. The Lastranges, the Buestamantes, Gary Colfinger, Ozzie Thebes." Harry rattled off. "She was my idol! Funny though... I thought she was dead."  
"Maybe she is..."  
"RON!" Hermione said whacking him on the back of his hand with her spoon.   
"Ouch!" He grumbled.  
"She was on a mission in Transylvania that had to do with Vampires or something." Harry continued.  
"Looks like she spent a little too much time there." Ron said glancing over at her. Harry, however, didn't seem to hear him.  
"Harry I'm hi." He said putting a hand on her shoulder. "I mean hi, I'm Harry." There was a pause in which Veronique ate a bite of omelet.  
"If you do no remove your hand from my person I will put this fork through your hand." She said flatly as she took another bite of omelet without turning to face him. Harry moved his hand very quickly.  
"Isn't she great?" Harry said enthusiastically to Ron.   
"Oh yeah." Ron said looking at Harry as if he were crazy. "The real, warm, cozy type that's a joy to bring home to your family."  
"Yeah..." Harry said staring longingly at her. Ron shook his head and continued to eat his breakfast. He watched her the entire meal and when she got up he hurried after her to try and open the door for her. She reached it before him and it swung back and hit him in the face, knocking him flat. Harry was unphased though and he hurried out after her Ron and Hermione staring at him in disbelief.  
  
"Did you see that?" Honey said watching as Professor Potter dashed out the door after Professor Hie.   
"What?" Angel said, turning her gaze from Beau who was sitting chatting with his Ravenclaw buddies, trying not to look at Angel.   
"Harry totally has the hotts for the new charms teacher!" Dovey said. "If you weren't so busy staring at Mr. Pretty you would have seen."   
"I was not. I was just thinking that the Ravenclaw table might be a good place to plant a dung bomb." Angel replied coolly. "Anyway, who in there right mind would fancy Hie? Let's go. That Hie woman's class doesn't seem like one we want to be late for."  



	4. Oh La La According to the Prophecy

_The Closet: A Match Makers Best Friend_   
Chapter 4: Oh La La According to the Prophecy  
By, Rosekeet  
Rated: PG  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and titles belong to J.K. Rowling. I do assume credit for Angel, Dovey, Honey, Beau, Frank, ect.   
A/N: Ok. I'm cranking this thing out. I only have one more day left of summer but, I will finish this by... by... the new year!!!! That gives me oh a good 4 months! Finally!! A goal I can work with!   
  
  
Harry walked into his classroom about two weeks latter humming _Fly me to the moon_. He was in a terrific room. Even with all the weird looks from students and teachers he had been receiving. At last, it had happened. After two weeks of following, stalking, and chattering it had happened. Veronique Hie had SPOKEN to him without him having to speak first. Sure it had only been to tell him to get of her way or she would hex him to kingdom come, but it was a start. He hadn't been this happy since he had been accepted unto the Chuddely Cannons. But an unfortunate accident involving a pair of denchers a bowl of tomato soup and his ex-girlfriend Claire had ended that career venture.   
"You're in a good mood Professor." Honey Malfoy said sly as she Angel and Dovey walked into the classroom. She was smirking in a way that made her look so like her father that it sent chills up his spine.   
"Yes I am Miss Malfoy."   
"I didn't know you liked Frank Sinatra." Dovey said looking curiously at him.   
"Oh, he's not half bad."   
"What happened?" Angel said. "Did Professor Hie finally talk to you?" Harry felt himself color.   
"Why, yes it so happens she did."   
"What did she say?" Angel asked.   
"I believe it was along the lines of 'get your ass out of my way or hex you.'"  
"Harry," Dovey said. "Face it. There's no hope. Professor Hie has about the emotional depth of a rock." Angel and Honey nodded in agreement. On their first day in Professor Hie's charm class she had told them about her adventures in Transylvania. She had been working with other Aurors to kill off a group of Vampires that were attacking a local village. Her 3 partners had been turned into Vampires themselves and she had killed them along with the others. It was an amazing feat of magic. But her cold attitude scared the students. She was obsessed with killing Voldemort. She was totally and completely convinced that the Ministry was working for him and was brainwashing the wizard community using the Daily Prophet. In Veronique's theory Percy Weasley, the Minister of Magic, and Harry Potter, boy-wonder, ex-Quidditch player, part time Auror and Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts were ol' Voldies right had guys. She spoke in a quiet, slightly sinister monotone had always dressed in high collared pitch black robes. On the first day she made 4 first years cry.   
"That's not true. Aurors have to toughen up!" Harry insisted.   
"She thinks you're in league with the Dark Lord." Honey said. "She's totally bonkers."   
"I won't have you speak that way about any Professor in this school." Harry said angrily. "Take your seats!"   
"Hie isn't the only one who's bonkers..." Angel muttered under her breath and Honey and Dovey nodded in agreement. They, along with Hermione and Ron were worried about his sanity.   
The lesson proceeded normally except for an outburst from Evangeline whom Angel had turned bald. But by the end of the lesson Evangeline had a full head of hair, and the homework and detentions had been assigned. The students left noisily, egger to get to lunch. After the student crowd had left Harry saw a dark robbed figure walk by his door. It was Veronique.   
"Hullo!" He said cheerfully.   
"Don't you have something better to do besides stalk me, Potter?" She said in her cold monotone without looking at him. Score! She'd replied to him after he'd only said ONE THING. Boy, today really was a good day.   
"Oh not really. Just wanted some company. How were your classes?" Silence. "Mine were good. Angel, Dovey and Honey making trouble again. Turned their cousin bald-"  
"Are those two Ron's kids?" Veronique said again without moving to look at him. Harry blinked in surprise. She was asking him something? WOW. 3 points for Harry!   
"What? Oh, no. His nieces. Ron's never been serious enough about anybody to get married. In love with Hermione you know." Harry babbled. Veronique was silent. "Yeah, has been since school. Pretty silly if you ask me. You know. If I was in love with someone I'd tell them." They had reached to entrance to the great hall.   
"Yes." Veronique said moving to open the door. Harry dashed in front of her, to do it for her. She stopped him by stepping in front of him.   
"Potter if you don't stop stalking me and if you open that door for me I will file a restraining order and turn your balls into grapes." She said in her usual monotone. Harry stood mouth hanging open. Veronique turned opened the door and went in. After a minute or two Harry shrugged and followed. Hey, it was a start.   
  
"He's seriously gone totally loony." Dovey said shaking her head as she, her sister and Honey climbed out from behind the statue of an ugly wizard eating a turkey leg where they had been hiding.   
"Did you here what she said to him?" Honey said.   
"Yeah. Not a bad line though, for discouraging a guy and all." Angel commented.   
"That's true." Dovey agreed.   
"What did he say about your Uncle and Professor Granger?" Honey asked curiously.   
"Oh. That their in love." Dovey said shrugging.   
"Do you think they are?"   
"Obviously. I mean, they've known each other since they were like ten and Professor Granger comes over to our house for Christmas sometimes. I mean, seriously, when me and Angel were little we called her 'Aunt Hermione'. And she and Ron would always show up together. 'Oh look, here's Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione.' Sheesh. I didn't realize that they weren't married until I was like eight or something. Angel asked them."   
"Boy that got some nervous laughter." Angel said shaking her head. "'Oh, no, we're just friends.' Please. Honestly, they should just hook up already."   
"Yeah. I always kind of thought your uncle had the hots for her." Honey mused. "But you heard what Professor P. said. It's been that long..."   
"I think they just need some help." Dovey said thoughtfully, stroking her jaw line. The three looked sideways at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"   
"If it involves Beau without a shirt, then yes." Angel said but after seeing the looks on Honey and Dovey's faces she quickly added "Kidding! Kidding!"   
"If it has to do with wheel chairs, house elves, leather thongs and my sister, Crystal then yes." Honey said. Dovey looked at them incredulously.   
"Set them up!"   
"Duh!" Honey and Angle chorused.   
  
~*~  
  
"Where's Harry been lately?" Hermione asked Ron. The two were busy grading papers together in Ron's office like they did every evening. Usually Harry joined them, but lately he had been missing.   
"Chasing after Veronique Hie, no doubt." Ron said shaking his head and dripping his quill in red-ink. "He's gone mad. She threatened to turn his balls into grapes today. If that's not a sign a woman isn't interested I don't know what is."   
"Yeah. I think you're right. This obsession isn't natural." Hermione said. "I mean, she obviously doesn't want to talk to him. She wouldn't even talk to me! She called me a busy-bodied, self-important prep!" Hermione said indignantly. "She'd never even met me!" Ron thought that for having never met someone before that Veronique had a pretty on-target description of Hermione. Of course he would never have said something like that.   
"Yeah. Not much of a people person is she."   
"I'll say." Hermione agreed as she hastily made some marks on an essay. Hermione was a notoriously hard grader. She made a point of making comments on every single piece of homework. It made most students annoyed and angry but it also made them work towards the goal of getting a paper back with no red on it. Evangeline Weasley had come the closest.   
"Of course Harry has seemed unusually happy lately." Ron said. "He was singing in the shower this morning." Ron, Harry and the other male, non-ghost teachers shared a large bathroom as did the female teachers. Hermione shook her head.   
"How weird. I mean, remember Samantha? She was obviously crazy about him but Harry didn't even notice. And Veronique totally rejects him and he's elated." Ron shrugged.   
"Go figure." Outside in the hallway they heard whistling. Harry strode in with a stack of papers under his arm.   
"Hello! Lovely night isn't it!" He said cheerfully as he sat down. Ron and Hermione glanced out the window where rain was pouring down in buckets.   
"If you're a Grindylow maybe." Ron said raising an eyebrow and looking at Hermione.   
"Umm... are you feeling ok, Harry?" She asked.   
"I've never felt better." He said as he uncorked his ink bottle.   
"He's in love." Ron said nodding solemnly. "Everyday is beautiful when you're in love." Harry colored, obviously embarrassed.   
"Doesn't explain a lot of days for you two!" He snapped. Ron's ears went pink and Hermione's cheeks flushed as she went back to grading. Harry smirked, feeling pleased as he started on the essays on Unforgivable Curses by the 5th years.   
"Another A plus for Evangeline." He commented after about 10 minutes.   
"She reminds me of you, Herm." Ron commented.   
"She's a good student." Hermione said dryly. For some reason Hermione didn't like Evangeline very much. Harry and Ron thought it was because there was a chance she could beat Hermione's own record for most OWLs.   
"Just like you were."   
"Evangeline may be a good student but she's not the best person. She's quite full of herself." Ron coughed.   
"What was that for?" She asked, annoyed.   
"Nothing! Nothing!"   
"Are you implying that I was stuck up?"   
"I didn't say anything!" Ron said after a pause.   
"I was not!"   
"Were too!"   
"Was not!"   
"were too!"   
"Was- I know how we'll settle this!" Hermione and Ron both turned to Harry. "Harry?" They chorused. "Harry!"   
"_Do you believe in magic? _" He sang tapping his foot. "_In a young girl's heart... do you believe in freedom where ever it starts... do you believe in magic..._"  



	5. Albaquerque Was a Turkey

  
_The Closet: A Match Makers Best Friend_   
Chapter 5: Albaquerque Was a Turkey  
By, Rosekeet  
Rated: PG  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters and titles belong to J.K. Rowling. I do, however, assume credit for Angel, Dovey, Honey, Beau, Frank, Evangeline, Lance etc.   
A/N: Yeah, once again I'll finish the stupid fic before the new year blah blah blah. *sigh* I'm depressed. Regected from chamber orchestra again only this time I am alone in my regection... Boy, am I gonna have fuuuuuuuuuuuun in study hall this year. Oh well. Suppose I could study for the PSAT's and such. Or practice. *sigh again* It might help if I cared more...   
  
"Now, the only problem is how to get two fully armed, magically trained professors into a small empty closet long enough to make a love confession, snog a bit and not get expelled doing it." Angel said triumphantly several weeks before Christmas break when she Dovey and Honey were in the library working on their new plot- setting up Hermione and Ron.   
"ONLY problem?" Honey aid raising an eyebrow.  
"Oh, it's only minor details." Angel said airily with a wave of her hand. Dovey and Honey exchanged 'yeah, suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure' looks.   
"Now you two figure out how we can get them in unarmed while I go look up locking spells and get a copy of all Hogwarts rules."   
"Rules?" Dovey said.  
"Yes. You have to know the rules before you can break them, my dear. Plus, I figure if we know 'em we can figure out how to bend them. Don't break when you can bend I always say." Dovey shook her head.   
"And another thing!" Honey said, stopping Angel as she turned to leave. "Do you realize how long they're going to have to be in there? I mean, they've been in love for 17 years and haven't said anything."   
"Closets do strange things to people." Angel said factually.  
"You know from experience?" Beau said popping up from behind them. Angel jumped and turning red she hurried away into the shelves of books. Behind Beau Honey and Dovey saw Frank making a thumbs up sign and Beau's back. It looked like he'd finally managed to get Beau to make a move. "What's the terrible trio up to now?"  
"None of your business." Dovey said coyly, plot forming on the spot.  
"I heard you mention Professor Granger and Professor Weasley." Beau said. Dovey blinked sweetly at him and thought, _He's hott but he's not the brightest crayon in the box._ "OH!" Beau said after a couple seconds thought. "Trying to set them up?"   
"SHHHHHHHHHH!" Honey said motioning for him to sit down. Dovey leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Honey's eyes lit up and a smirk appeared on her lips. She whispered something back and they began to giggle.  
"What?" Beau asked puzzlement crossing his handsome face.   
"Would you like to help?"   
"Ummm..."   
"Look at all of these!" Angel said returning and dumping an armful of books onto the table and then said "Hi" to Beau while shooting Dovey and Honey 'why the hell is he still here' looks.   
"Sure!" Beau said as a blush spread across his cheeks.   
"what?" Angel asked, not liking the sound of the way things were going.   
"Beau's going to help us." Honey said innocently.   
"WHAT?!" Angel said gapping. Honey and Dovey smiled angelically. She glanced at Beau and said "Great" with a somewhat forced smile and a blush. She gave Honey and Dovey a look that plainly said 'my soul will not be at peace until you both have suffered much pain' looks. They giggled.   
"So." Beau said feeling a little unnerved by the giggling and glaring. He had a feeling he was missing something. "What's the plan?"   
"Get Professor G and Angel and Dovey's uncle into a closet and lock the door." Honey said.   
"That's it?"  
"A closet?"  
"Yes."   
"We can't send fake love notes or something?"  
"That is so cliché." Angel said with a wave of her hand. "We want something original here. And as I said earlier, closets have strange effects on people."  
"How do you know that?" Beau asked feeling nervous as he imaged Angel snogging with some random guy in a janitor's closet. Angel looked embarrassed.  
"During the summer she reads Muggle romance novels." Dovey said. "We live kind of near a Muggle town. She gets them at the grocery store." Beau looked curiously at Angel. This was a new development. So, she WAS interseted in romance. "ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNYWAY," Angel said, obviously egger to change the subject. "The problem is how to get them in there." Nobody said anything. Angel sighed and started flipping through one of the books.   
"What about Professor Potter and Professor Hie?" Beau asked. "I think Potter's been stalking her..."  
"Trust me. There is no hope for those too." Dovey said.   
"Professor P is living in Never-Never Land if he thinks that'll work out." Angel commented.  
"She threatened to turn his balls into grapes if he didn't leave her alone." Honey added.  
Beau cringed and they all started laughing. Monsieur Deppois came over to their table looking irritated. He was a short, skinny young wizard with a sharp pointy gotee and a mustache that really curled. His face was angular and he wasn't smiling. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He said curtly in his is annoying high pitched voice. Still giggling the girls picked up their books and headed towards the door. Beau followed. The bell rang shrilly, indicating the start of afternoon classes.   
"I'll sleep on it." He said and he waved as the girls started down the hall.   
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Angel yelled as soon as they were out Beau's hearing range. Honey and Dovey started running, laughing the entire time. As they each had different classes, she'd have to kill them latter.   
  
"So, did you ask her out?" Frank said as he met Beau by the library's door.  
"No." Beau said as they started walking towards the Dungeon's for Potions.   
"Why not?"   
"Not enough time..."  
"How did it go then?" Frank asked curiously. Beau blinked several times, thinking. "I'm not sure..."   
  
~*~  
  
Christmas was coming and all of Hogwarts was bathed in pure white snow. Angel, Dovey and Honey loved snow. It made reeking havoc incredibly easy. Professor Hie took them outside one day to practice Manipulating Charms on the snow. It was great fun to form the snowballs with only ones wand. Angel even had the clever idea to use a banishing charm to "throw" them at people. Of course she tried this idea out on Evangeline who was, of course, furious. Professor Hie however, was not upset. Rather she awarded 10 points to Gryffindor for clever use of charms. Angel suspected it was just because Professor Hie seemed to have a dislike of her cousin. It was from her that Evangeline had received her first B in all the time she had been at Hogwarts. She had been depressed for about a week afterwards and then began studying in a fervor. Professor Hie, however, did not seem as delighted with Angel's accomplishment when one student hit her in the back with a snowball. And that was the end of the outside lessons.  
Harry was still following Veronique around seemingly oblivious to her growing threats. There was a bet pool on when she'd finally threaten to kill him. There was also the rumor that she'd all ready turned Professor Potter's err, "manly parts" into the previously specified fruit. But again, Harry didn't seem to mind. He always seemed to be in a good mood and everyone was receiving far less Defense Against the Dark Arts homework than usual. But this was quickly compensated by an outpour of Transfiguration and Arithmancy assignments. Angel, Dovey and Honey wondered if the Professors were onto them. There was no real way to be sure since whenever Ron and Hermione had a fight they always assigned more decided they would collaborate by owl over Christmas break. The Malfoy's intense dislike of the Weasleys made it virtually impossible to get together. Hermione was spending her Christmas with her Mother (her father had passed away several years before) in Switzerland and all the Weasley were going to the Burrow which, as of the numerously increased population had been magically enlarged. Harry, of course, had also been invited and since spending Christmas with Veronique (which was what he would have liked to do) didn't seem like a possibility since the latest threat was disembowelment he had accepted. And Christmas with the Weasley's was always fun.   
  
*   
  
One snowy Friday after all his classes were over Harry set out from his office in search of Veronique. He wanted to get her a Christmas present but wasn't quite sure what, so he decided to ask her. He hummed _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_ as he climbed through a tapestry and out unto the steps that lead down to the Charms corridor. There, sitting on the steps was a smallish, pale-haired girl. As he got closer he realized that it was Honey Malfoy. She was alone and he shoulders were shaking slightly as if she were either laughing or crying. But by the look on her face he guessed she was trying to keep herself from crying. A crumpled looking letter lay in her lap.  
"What's up?" He asked sitting down on the step beside her. She handed him the piece of paper and buried her head in her arms, unable to stop the tears. Harry, feeling a bit mystified straightened out the paper and read:   
  
_"Honey-  
  
For Christmas and New Years we have decided to host a family reunion at the manor. You, however, are to stay at school to prevent yourself from bringing anymore shame upon me, your mother, your sister and the rest of the family. We will send your presents. Happy Holidays.  
  
Father_  
  
"Wow." Harry said in slight disbelief of Draco's cruelty towards his own daughter.  
"Crystal is going." He heard Honey say. Even through her words sounded muffled because she hadn't raised her head, he couldn't mistake the bitterness. Crystal was Honey's sister and junior by 3 years. Like her sister she had the same looks as their father- pale hair, thin, cold grey eyes and the straight narrow face. Unlike her sister Crystal had been sorted into Slytherin and acted like her father. Harry constantly saw her picking on other girls and acting much in the way he remembered Draco acting. He also suspected that Crystal used their family's obvious favoritism of her to her own advantage, torturing her sister with it whenever chance arouse. "Perfect Crystal the Slytherin." Honey said looking up. Her tears were gone and replacing them was a familiar look of intense hatred. Harry had seen the same look on Draco's own face many times before.  
"Honey," Harry said. "Your father is- well, Draco..." He trailed off and sighed. He couldn't avoid it. "Well to be perfectly honest I hate the man and if he were here I'd have a few things to say to him about this letter and probably a couple of hexes to go along with them but, Honey, you don't have a single thing to be ashamed of."   
"I'm a Gryffindor." She said miserably. "The first Malfoy not in Slytherin since God knows when."   
"What do you think of that?" Harry asked seriously.  
"I dunno... I mean, I always was kind of different from the rest of my family. I was disappointed at first but you know, I have good friends in Gryffindor now and stuff." She paused and laughed slightly. "I thought the sorting hat was wrong, when it put me in Gryffindor."   
_So did I._ Harry thought.  
"But, like I said, I made friends and figured out that I wasn't the Slytherin type. I was in the right place. Father did speak to me for about a year. He'll talk to me now but I've seen him cringe looking at me. The Sorting Hat even told me I was different from my father. And you know what? I'm glad. I hate him, I really do." Harry was silent as he absorbed this speech. The bitterness in her voice was amazing. He had never been popular with the family he had lived with, but then again, he had never been accepted. Honey had been and then rejected.   
"Honey," He said at last. "Don't hate your father."   
"Why not? He hasn't given me a reason not too."  
"True, but he's still your father. Remember, the sorting hat said you were different. You don't have to stoop to his level. You can be better than that. Plus, if he must care a little bit because he still feeds you, buys you clothing and such." Honey was quiet and the hard look on her face slowly softened.  
"Yeah... guess you're right. I- I love my father, but I don't like him. But- what am I going to do for Christmas? I don't want to spend it alone."   
"I bet if you talked to Angel and Dovey, they could pull a few strings."  
"Oh... I-I don't want to be rude..." She said voice trailing off. Harry smiled. Even if she was a Gryffindor she was still a Malfoy, thus making her a prisoner of her own pride.  
"I'll talk to Ron and Mrs. Weasley. They'd never let you spend Christmas all by yourself." Honey stood up and smiled.   
"Thanks Professor."  
"Anytime I'm always happy to help." He stood up and Honey hugged him quickly then went dashing off towards the Gryffindor common room yelling after her,   
"I saw Professor Hie go into the Teachers Lounge." Harry blinked in surprise and with a Shrug he headed down the stairs and towards the teachers lounge.  
  



End file.
